Couples That Shouldn't Be
by DragonRaye
Summary: Various HP couples that really shoudn't happen... Yet in the sick and twisted world of my mind, they do. If you haven't been scared off yet, venture on in. I can use the company. -series of oneshots-
1. Night's Magic

All right then, people, you should all know that I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated with it except this very… odd fic. And don't complain to me if you don't like the couple. They're not supposed to be together. It's just plain wrong. :-) 

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He loved watching her sleep, her slim, developing form curled against his as a sign of her utmost trust. Such innocence shone through her face as she slumbered, the cares of the world slipping away until the dawn. He'd never know it was possible to be        this happy, this complete, until the girl -- young woman, he corrected -- had been brought more fully into his life. Time and time         again he wondered why she had chosen him -- HIM. The one who had sneered at her intelligence for 5 years, the wild-haired, buck-toothed Mudblood who was too smart for her own good... And yet she'd grown up mightily, almost with a vengeance. She was no longer the awkward little girl of 11, she was a strong and silent witch of 17.

Even as proud as he was as her lover to see her graduate at the top of her class, he could be only the last to congratulate her.         Only in passing could he say goodbye. At the end of this semester, he would have to let her go. She understood, and always had in some strange way or another, that his first duty was always to his House, to Slytheran. None in the House would ever forgive him if they found out he was taken with a Griffindor, as the two Houses still hadn't settled their rivalries. 'Such petty arguments,' he thought with a slight sigh, pressing his lips to his sleeping lover's forehead. 'They will never understand one such as you.'

Trying to think of happier times, he pulled his fingers through her wild hair, grinning when his fingers were soon caught in the         tangles. When he'd first carried her in, the knots weren't there, and the scent of their lovemaking easily explained the still-flushed cheeks of the teenager. He would have to wake her soon if she wanted to be clean and dry to return to her room before someone noticed she was missing. They hadn't yet in her years of sneaking around with Potter and Weasly, but with the two troublemakers safely tucked away, there would be more questions than either was willing to answer. He sighed, not wanting this night to end, to have to distance himself from her during the day, not wanting the intimacy of the moment gone until their next passionate night.

Footsteps sounded suddenly outside the door and the witch's eyes, full of panic, flew open. Clutching her lover's arm, she         stared at him almost fearfully. "Someone's coming!"

He couldn't help but chuckle and pulled her closer to kiss away her next comment. "Hermione, my dear, this is the teacher's wing, remember?" he whispered against her lips before claiming them once again. "No one will suspect a thing, especially considering this is Filch's room. No one dares come here." She sighed and laid back, allowing him to roll over on her, putting both hands over her head as he nibbled at her neck. "You really should be going." Hermione rolled her eyes as he continued ever downward. "You wouldn't want to be seen not studying for exams."

Had his superior weight not been pushing her down, she would have shot bolt upright. "Exams!" She scowled at him, which         only made him laugh harder. "You made me forget all about them!"

"Then my job as your lover is being done well," he commented, tickling the sensitive inner flesh of her thigh.

"And your job as my teacher is being done horrendously," she teased, eyes widening as he grinned and let his fingers wander         higher. "Professor--"

"Severus," he corrected absently, toying with the skin around her navel.

"I have to go," she continued, ignoring the interruption.

He smirked and circled his fingers lower until they paused just above her most intimate place. "You will not leave until I dismiss you."

"Professor--"

"Severus," he growled again, plunging two fingers into her. She groaned and tried to twist out of his grip, but his hand was too strong, the pleasure was too intense. Finally she bit down on her lower lip and allowed herself to be taken once more that night.

"Do you have any idea how many classes I'm going to sleep through tomorrow?" she demanded, panting as he moved off to the side so he wouldn't crush her.

"Not mine, of course."

She snorted with dry amusement. "Especially yours." She smirked and crawled out of bed, leaning over to kiss her lover once more. "I need a reason to come back tomorrow. A 'tutoring' session should work just fine." Snape smiled as he watched her         dress, eyes roaming over the expanse of bare skin as long as she had it presented to him. 'But, tomorrow IS another day,' he consoled himself. 'Which means also another night...'

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So, what did y'all think? Review and tell me. And as I said before, little flames. ^.^ 


	2. Winter's Magic

Yes, more insanity for your reading... pleasure? Depends on how much of a freak you are. But because I get reviews I'm gonna keep writing. Of course, after this I have the feeling many, MANY readers are going to want my head on a stick...

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Even in the middle of winter the school uniform didn't change. A knee-length skirt was her only protection from the bitter wind, even as she slipped a black cloak over her shoulders. A single wink in the mirror as she slipped the velvet hood over her telltale hair was the last glance she gave the room as she stepped into the corridor. A quick glance either way showed no one but the ghostly form of the bathroom spirit, Myrtle's perpetually angry/depressed face smirking just the slightest bit. She knew what was in store for the child and actually smiled before disappearing into her stall.

The stairs were just starting to move as she descended, having to leap the last five to bring her to the ground floor. Luckily, no one was in the Great Hall and she slid past easily. Her eyes were fixed on the entrance to the school grounds when someone clipped her shoulder. She spun around, hood falling to her back from the sheer force of their collision. A look of absolute fear covered her face as she took in the figure before her, until it stepped back and she could easily make out the features of a 17-year-old Ron.

His eyebrows knitted together, a scowl crossing his face. "What are you doing out here? You're going to get caught!"

She crossed her arms, defiantly. "So are you. And what are YOU now? Head Boy?"

He ignored the barb, cocking his head to one side. "*I* am coming from detention. Filch can't punish me for something HE told me to do." The redhead stroked his whiskered chin. "At least I hope not."

She rolled her eyes. "I left a book in the courtyard. As soon as I get it I PROMISE to go to bed. Will THAT make you happy?"

He was still looking at her oddly. "Should I wait up for you?"

A sigh of exasperation left her in a rush. "Don't you trust me?" Ron's raised eyebrow stated an obvious 'no' and she flung her arms over her head. "Wait if you want. I would think that after years of you and Harry sneaking around—"

He clapped a palm over her mouth. "How did you find out about that?"

"I'm not stupid, Ron," she growled, batting his hand away. "I know that you two have been out since your first year. WITH Hermione, I might add." She narrowed her eyes into a glare, teeth bared in a snarl. "And the later you keep me here talking the better the chance is that  I'll be caught out of bed. Now GO AWAY!"

Ron looked her up and down once, then sighed and shook his head. His back turned to her small smile. "Ginny..." He paused, then started off in the other direction. "The new password is 'fairy dust.' "

His sister grinned, slipping the hood over her head once more as she dashed out into the snow. Her footsteps would be erased in the early morning by the incoming storm, once again banishing all evidence of her visit. Ginny drew her cape tighter around her, unable to stop from smiling. Ron had to know SOMETHING was going on, and yet he allowed her to go—slow he may be, but even her thickheaded brother knew that she wouldn't be desperate enough to brave Filch for a book.

When she stopped, the heavy wooden door before her seemed an invitation, not an obstacle. Her chest heaved as much from anticipation as from lack of air. The 16-year-old straightened from her half-bent position she'd adopted to catch her breath and banged on the barrier with a clenched fist. As if expecting her, it opened immediately.

Her smile seemed to light up the world. "Hagrid..." 

****

_All right. As you come back from bowing down to the porcelain goddess, let me apologize for putting Ron (and possibly Ginny) so OOC. I couldn't help it. This idea wouldn't leave me alone and I have to say that it came out pretty good despite being so unlike them. As always, R/R._


	3. Flick of the Wrist

All right, first warning is that this is between two guys, and with some pretty serious hints, like half a step away from graphic. Don't like it, get out now. Second is that this one was NOT my idea, I was threatened into doing it by someone who would actually carry out that threat. *shudders* And keeping in the spirit of wrongness, don't forget you might be entirely disgusted by what you are about to read. Tread carefully, little ones. See if curiosity will kill the cat...  
  
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The cloak worked flawlessly, as always. Harry slipped silently against the wall, keen green eyes scanning the hall for Filch's damnable cat. The stupid creature had ruined more than one midnight rendezvous, and the teenager would Petrify her himself the next time she was wandering the corridors. Or, he might not wait. The thought was accompanied by a slightly wicked grin as he felt behind his back for the invisible crack, slid two fingernails under the crease and whispered one word. A slight groan was the only indication the door had been opened, and he was into the room with the barrier closed before Mrs. Norris herself could have seen what transpired.  
  
The moment he turned, he found himself pressed to the wall, hungry body on his, ravenous mouth searching out a response. The cloak's hood had fallen back on impact and widened eyes could only watch as a shocked gasp was swallowed by those lustful lips that had locked onto his own. The other man's passion made short work of his bare defenses until he was cupping the balding head in a silent plea for more, hardly coming up for breath between. Somehow they divested each other of constricting robes and once again Harry was pinned against the closed door, his lover's heavy breath on his shoulder. It was moving too fast... had been too long since they'd been together... It wasn't supposed to be like this.  
  
Harry shuddered as his admirer moved lower, grazing his chest. He fell almost to his knees to capture the older man's lips once again in hopes of distraction and felt the clatter of wood caught between shin and stone. In a moment of irritation he nearly snapped the wand in half, but as his fingers drew across the polished handle, he couldn't help but grin. Filch had always liked a little playfulness in their lovemaking. Why not indulge him a little?  
  
His lover had probably felt the change in his desire immediately but still looked nothing less than surprised when Harry shoved him away. The disciplinarian's eyes narrowed as his student rose to his feet, still fighting a mischievous smirk. Instead of lavishing attention on the boy, he now stood at arm's length with no clue as to why the teenager was suddenly standing in a dueling crouch with wand at the ready. He opened his mouth to demand the meaning of this intrusion when in the next instant he found himself flat on the bed. The blast had injured nothing but his pride, but Filch's mouth curved back in a sneer. It was bad enough even Dumbledore thought to treat him like garbage, but this action from his own lover was enough to send him into a temper formidable enough for even Harry Potter. That stupid, infuriating, mocking smile would be wiped off the boy's face before he knew what hit him.  
  
The pupil quickly snapped the wand twice and Filch felt certain invisible bonds fasten around wrists and ankles. Harry swallowed once at the look on his lover's face. 'Well, at least now he can't kill me, if nothing else.' The erotic rush was immediately quelled by his next thought. 'Guess I have to thank Snape for that spell after all.' Mentally shuddering and physically shaking himself, he turned back to more important matters. Such as the fact that his lover was entirely naked and entirely helpless and entirely his for the entire night (I know, bad visual. I'm sorry.).  
  
"What the hell do you think you're DOING, boy?" Filch nearly roared, narrowed eyes almost slits as the 17-year-old approached solemnly. Harry tossed the wand aside and the bigger man felt every muscle in his body go rigid. "What the-" He was silenced a hand tickled up his inner thigh and pleased lips landed across his open mouth. His struggle was no longer so insistent, especially as Harry removed his tongue and whispered into his lover's ear exactly what the hell he thought he was doing. And then exactly what the hell he'd PLANNED to do.  
  
And then he did.  
  
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All right, all right, I know it's sick and twisted and Filch and ANYBODY is wrong and I should be locked up in some mental asylum. And you're probably right. But this will keep me from serious bodily harm and after she forgets about it I can take it down. :D Man, I can only imagine the flames over THIS one... And I have something even MORE demented cooked up already... Maybe not as many bad visuals though... 


End file.
